I had always been a great admirer of friendship and have treated it the most wonderful endowment by god.
While it’s the most difficult job of the world to defined what friendship is, life becomes extremely easy and enjoyable by the presence of friends.
Specially, true friends are top on the cards and they are someone you can share all the happiness and sorrows, dance for them, cry for them, help them without expecting for any acknowledgement, call them whenever you feel it like, scold them for no reason to something extremely serious, spend hours with them, yet feel like scarcity of time, trust them even after living remotely, someone who’s tears hurts, someone who’s smile relishes, so on, so on, and so on.
As I said, it’s just not possible for anyone to define what those good/true friends are.
So, it’s always great to have such friends in your life, but what if the friend is of opposite sex?
Ok, it doesn’t matter much, but while the chemistry with you and the other person is cooking nicely, many a times the friendship starts converting to a feeling of love.
There isn’t any problem to have your best/true friend as a lover, but here, the problem is not why should you love him/her, it’s about how to assure yourself whether that’s the love, and most importantly, how to express the same to the person.
While you claim that you have a nice understanding with your friend, you find it almost impossible to figure out whether the other person too feels love for you or it’s just a pure friendship.
Expressing your love to someone is itself not a easy job, but if you need to express it to a best/true friend, it’s certainly one of the hardest things.
Milians of questions bumps in mind like
Is it the love really that I’m feeling?
Does the person too love me?
Should I express it to him/her?
What if the person doesn’t feel the same and refuse?
How would I bare if the expression of love will create complications in our nice friendship?
There may be lots of such questions which hovers around, and you find yourself in bewildered state of mind.
The biggest fear is about losing the current friendship in case of refusal from his/her side, and this is what I’d like to point in here.
I just would like to ask a simple and straight forward question,
How to express your love to a very good/best/true friend, considering the scenario I’ve given above?
How to make sure that there won’t be any problem in your current friendship even if the person refuses the proposal?
Or, what do you think, shouldn’t one express his/her feeling of love to that friend?
you can write your answer in comments section, it may help a lot of folks including me!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Saturday, November 28, 2009
True, not everyone is a friend.
Today when so many people we barely know are “friends” on our social networking sites, I am reminded of an episode long time ago. I think I was in class 4 or 5. I knew a girl in my class who I rarely interacted with. She had her own set of friends, belonged to a different state, spoke a different language, and had nothing in common with me. We sat in opposite corners of the classroom. She was short and I was tall, and thus never even stood close to each other in those queues we made during the assembly. The only time I heard her name and her voice was when the teacher took the class attendance every morning and I heard her “present ma’am”.
It so happened that my father happened to know her father, which we discovered accidentally. My father had to go meet her father for some work and asked me if I would like to tag along and visit my friend. I was not very excited at the thought of it and hence decided to stay home.
The rest of the story, we heard from my father. He was at their place when my friend entered to say hi. My father smiled and asked her if she knew he was her school friend’s father. To which she smiled and said yes, and corrected my father saying “Although he is not a friend, he is a classmate”.
My father was very intrigued with the wisdom of a 11 year old. When I heard this, I was angry at first, but later realized that what she said was not to demean or insult me, she just spoke the truth. We must have barely spoken 3 times in school, sat at different corners, never shared or food, never hung out with the same set of friends, and had nothing in common.
Years later, I still appreciate the wisdom of what she said. We use the word “friend” in very general terms, referring to anyone we meet in the train, work with, go to school with, are neighbors with, or even study in the same class with. You go to a class with classmates, go to work with colleagues, and so on. Friend cannot be a generalized word used to describe classmates, colleagues, or contacts. Someone who is not a friend doesn’t necessarily have to be an enemy. But not everyone you are civil to and in good terms with is a friend.
On the same note, it would be interesting to have categories like classmates, colleagues, contacts, neighbors, relatives, etc. on these social networking sites. True, not everyone is a friend.
It so happened that my father happened to know her father, which we discovered accidentally. My father had to go meet her father for some work and asked me if I would like to tag along and visit my friend. I was not very excited at the thought of it and hence decided to stay home.
The rest of the story, we heard from my father. He was at their place when my friend entered to say hi. My father smiled and asked her if she knew he was her school friend’s father. To which she smiled and said yes, and corrected my father saying “Although he is not a friend, he is a classmate”.
My father was very intrigued with the wisdom of a 11 year old. When I heard this, I was angry at first, but later realized that what she said was not to demean or insult me, she just spoke the truth. We must have barely spoken 3 times in school, sat at different corners, never shared or food, never hung out with the same set of friends, and had nothing in common.
Years later, I still appreciate the wisdom of what she said. We use the word “friend” in very general terms, referring to anyone we meet in the train, work with, go to school with, are neighbors with, or even study in the same class with. You go to a class with classmates, go to work with colleagues, and so on. Friend cannot be a generalized word used to describe classmates, colleagues, or contacts. Someone who is not a friend doesn’t necessarily have to be an enemy. But not everyone you are civil to and in good terms with is a friend.
On the same note, it would be interesting to have categories like classmates, colleagues, contacts, neighbors, relatives, etc. on these social networking sites. True, not everyone is a friend.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
don't be serious, be sinceer!
I love the compositions of chetan bhagat, and am quite impressed by his philosophy.
Yesterday, when I’ve got a mail in my inbox comprising with a speech of chetan bhagat which he gave in a well known management institute, thought to share it with you as well. Enjoy!
---
Don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before
successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts.
Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the
marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is
only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited
and alive, will start to die. .......
One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really
temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50
years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? ......
It's ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little
fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices........." :)
"Don't be serious, be sincere."!!
---
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty impressed by what he said, and tent to agree as well.
it started echoing to my brain, "don't be serious, be sinceer"!
Yesterday, when I’ve got a mail in my inbox comprising with a speech of chetan bhagat which he gave in a well known management institute, thought to share it with you as well. Enjoy!
---
Don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before
successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts.
Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the
marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is
only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited
and alive, will start to die. .......
One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really
temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50
years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? ......
It's ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little
fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices........." :)
"Don't be serious, be sincere."!!
---
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty impressed by what he said, and tent to agree as well.
it started echoing to my brain, "don't be serious, be sinceer"!
i guess that's life
I had written this sometime in semester 2. I was waiting for a lecture to start when suddenly these thoughts flooded my mind and I put it down on paper..
Sometimes I wonder why things that happen in our lives, happen at all. because some of these things change your life entirely - may be forever. You wish that
some things never happened, or certain other things happened - but what we always forget is that if everything happened our way, wouldn't life become too
predictable and boring? You would just say "I want it that way" and it would happen - no, that's not what life is all about. You need to experience unexpected
things, and derive excitement and happiness from those things, because if there are no challenges, there's no excitement. Challenges come in 3 categories
- easy, difficult, impossible. Those who take on the easy alone have a boring and straight forward life. Those who take on the difficult have a tough but
satisfying life. Those who take on the impossible are remembered forever! (I read this quote somewhere) Always remember - all that happens, happens for
good. If God does not give you everything you want, it is because there is a reason behind it - and it is for your good. Time will teach you everything,
even if you don't understand it at the moment. 'because time is the greatest healer..
I can still relate to what I had written so many months ago.. What I had gone through then is very similar to what I am going through now.. The emotions are the same, the situation slightly different.. I guess that's life!
Sometimes I wonder why things that happen in our lives, happen at all. because some of these things change your life entirely - may be forever. You wish that
some things never happened, or certain other things happened - but what we always forget is that if everything happened our way, wouldn't life become too
predictable and boring? You would just say "I want it that way" and it would happen - no, that's not what life is all about. You need to experience unexpected
things, and derive excitement and happiness from those things, because if there are no challenges, there's no excitement. Challenges come in 3 categories
- easy, difficult, impossible. Those who take on the easy alone have a boring and straight forward life. Those who take on the difficult have a tough but
satisfying life. Those who take on the impossible are remembered forever! (I read this quote somewhere) Always remember - all that happens, happens for
good. If God does not give you everything you want, it is because there is a reason behind it - and it is for your good. Time will teach you everything,
even if you don't understand it at the moment. 'because time is the greatest healer..
I can still relate to what I had written so many months ago.. What I had gone through then is very similar to what I am going through now.. The emotions are the same, the situation slightly different.. I guess that's life!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
feeling the same touch
There are some people in our lives who are never away….
you may meet or even talk to them after months or years…but it feels the same… as if you partied together just yesterday!
(gosh, save me from this poetomania!)
Similarly, there are such places…you might visit them after long…but everything feels just the same!
And that’s what I feel for my blog right now. I know I’ve been away for quite sometime but it feels no difference.
I still feel the same connect with all, and hope you all too feel the same affection towards this blog.
well, a warm hello.
Oh yeah, it’s pretty apparent to say warm hello as the winters are approaching all across.
Put your quills out people, i held no responsibility for any disease cause to you due to your carelessness, including swine flew.
you may meet or even talk to them after months or years…but it feels the same… as if you partied together just yesterday!
(gosh, save me from this poetomania!)
Similarly, there are such places…you might visit them after long…but everything feels just the same!
And that’s what I feel for my blog right now. I know I’ve been away for quite sometime but it feels no difference.
I still feel the same connect with all, and hope you all too feel the same affection towards this blog.
well, a warm hello.
Oh yeah, it’s pretty apparent to say warm hello as the winters are approaching all across.
Put your quills out people, i held no responsibility for any disease cause to you due to your carelessness, including swine flew.
confusion unraveled
Ever since I read that book about belief in God, I’ve been thinking which category will I fall in – atheist, thiest, agnostic gnostic???
I always thought and said that I am agnostic… but come to think of it, agnostics are those who are not sure whether they believe in God’s existence… but I am not that… I have full faith in God…but that doesn’t make me theist because I am not religious… I don’t believe in temples and pujas and rituals. So where do I fall?
Yeah, it’s important knowing in, you can’t live in confusion all the life.
If there’s any santa in world, it’s google. so,
I did some googling and found out that I fall in the category of ‘Agnostic Theism’, which
is also known as ‘Spiritual Agnosticism’.
wow! I did not know myself that scientifically ever before this!
I like that
That’s just what I am… Some relief there now!
so finally, confusion unraveled.
I always thought and said that I am agnostic… but come to think of it, agnostics are those who are not sure whether they believe in God’s existence… but I am not that… I have full faith in God…but that doesn’t make me theist because I am not religious… I don’t believe in temples and pujas and rituals. So where do I fall?
Yeah, it’s important knowing in, you can’t live in confusion all the life.
If there’s any santa in world, it’s google. so,
I did some googling and found out that I fall in the category of ‘Agnostic Theism’, which
is also known as ‘Spiritual Agnosticism’.
wow! I did not know myself that scientifically ever before this!
I like that
That’s just what I am… Some relief there now!
so finally, confusion unraveled.
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