Wednesday, September 30, 2009

total hack: name changed on request...

You must've have come across this phrase while reading articles in a magazine or newspaper. Usually, when it is a real life story with certain personal
or embarrassing details, the actual name of the person isn't divulged and another random name is used. At the bottom of the article there is one single
note for all the changed names as the newspapers have to mention it to ascertain it's genuineness. Hence, when you read the article, you go with the flow
and you don't care about the names used, 'cos even if the names are common, in all likelihood you wouldn't know the person mentioned in the article. And
you don't care.

That makes sense.

But many a time I come across articles where the sentence goes like this.

"Ramya, an electrical engineering student from BITS (name changed on request), was walking back to her hostel after class when..." This would probably
be followed by a few other people whose names had been changed and this would be mentioned in brackets for every name changed, all in the same article.

I find this a little stupid, and frankly I don't understand the purpose of mentioning it every time, instead of just writing it once in small print at
the end of the article. Somehow I find myself concentrating more on the names of the people than the incident itself while reading the article. And then
I start commenting on why they had to use such a weird name, with a pseudo initial as well! There are so many nice and pleasant names, but no, they find
the most obscure names on the planet and print it.

Just a random post - I'm just amused that at times, I concentrate more on the names than the actual important content in the article. ;)

And I turn around to find you gone

I turn around to grasp your neck,
to fill the air and strum you on,
to suffuse the mind with aural gleam,
And I turn around to find you gone.

I recall the days of splendid sounds,
the notes and tones and beats you spawn,
Then I feel that it was all a dream,
And I turn around to find you gone.

The pick is lonely, the mic dejected,
My throat, in memory, does only mourn,
I sing alone your sweet refrain,
And I turn around to find you gone.

The air is bland, my life is chilling,
all music, sans you, is traffic horn,
I miss your sonorous voice in pain,
And I turn around to find you gone.

how to irritate people and lose friends

Your urges that have unfortunately (for you) caused you to peruse this harmless-looking piece of text shall be the cause of more harm than you would have
thought an innocent and harmless-looking piece of text could have in the first place. This elongated paragraph was written partly out of an urge to write
and more partly to warn you that the writer or the written takes no responsibility of the consequences that might / might not happen to happen.

As you might have guessed from the topic you are about to meet a sermon and then you might need a surgeon. Okay just kidding, no surgeons required. Getting
on with what is most desirable at this instant, let me start by asserting that you take the first step in the world of irritating people when you actually
take your first step. Yes. It has been chemically, psychologically, statistically (and all other allies taken) proven that the ability to irritate and
annoy is inherent. Remember how you irritated your parents by excreting at your convenience.. Ah! What comfortable days. Well, a clever mind would argue
that we still do that at our convenience but clever minds can go to hell. Rejoice, you can, after hearing that you too are intrinsically able to irritate
others but the truth is that most people are wonted to such patterns of irritations and hence to step out of the box, you must think out of the box. If
you have asked yourself which box after reading the previous line, you are a natural. But in other cases too, development is possible, so there is less
need to worry.

The best way to bother someone is by asking questions. Ask ask ask till you bask. Prepare a series of random questions and learn them by heart. Fire them
at every friend you see. These questions must range from 'How are you' to 'Why didn't the subspace field harmonically ultra cogentic engines fail while
the Apollo 15 took off'. If the person in any way tries to suggest that no Apollo 15 is in existence yet, be sure to ask Why, and keep in store a corresponding
Why for every answer the patient of a man/woman has for you. With constant practice you shall be avoided. But there is no time for repose, this is just
the beginning.

There are a couple of other methods to chafe people and the best one is to attack the ego. Wait, didn't I say the best was to ask questions? Oh whatever,
just read don't ask questions. Attack the ego, I say. Sermonize as much as you can. Tell them always that the best path to take in life is a path of integrity,
honesty and virtue. Make sure you yourself are atleast a hundred miles away from that path. Great. Ask people that did they embrace the path of integrity,
honesty and virtue or are they still ignoble in their outlook every time you meet them. Make sure this is asked in public. You shall again be avoided.

Once you are avoided, beg for forgiveness. This, I know it is tough, but it is worth it. Beg for forgiveness promising you have changed and act normal
for a few days. After these days of silence, start boasting of your integrity, honesty and virtue. Start talking about how embracing the path of integrity,
honesty and virtue is the most difficult thing to do. Moreover, keep repeating integrity, honesty and virtue in every aspect and conversation. Kindle an
aversion for integrity, honesty and virtue in the other one's heart by repeating about integrity, honesty and virtue atleast a million times a day. When
the person cannot listen about integrity, honesty and virtue, chide him/her for talking such about integrity, honesty and virtue. For integrity, honesty
and virtue are the basis of integrity, honesty and virtue and without integrity, honesty and virtue what good is a person. It is only integrity, honesty
and virtue that differentiate us from the beast, integrity, honesty and virtue that term us human and only integrity, honesty and virtue that are responsible
for adding Kind to Man, hence making integrity, honesty and virtue a necessity for ManKind as a hole.

Your friend now has two options. Either to run away from you or to actually imbibe integrity, honesty and virtue. Most sane individuals would choose the
former and shun integrity, honesty and virtue, making their lives pits of shit, because without integrity, honesty and virtue that is what a human life
is, a pit of shit.

Once you have elicited complete, categorical and absolute hate from the person concerned owing to your stubbornness, you can be sure you have annoyed him/her
enough and that should be the point of satisfaction. Although, if you still don't feel satisfied, either embrace integrity, honesty and virtue or keep
asking yourself why you are still not satisfied until you actually embrace integrity, honesty and virtue.

Now that you have lost one friend, you can move on to make others solely for the purpose of annoying and losing them, thus assimilating integrity, honesty
and virtue in the process.

Statutory Warning: Reading this post might be injurious to your mental health.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

looking for mister right, but on a wrong place

I don’t know how many of you have watched this new Television reality show on Star Plus called the ‘Perfect bride’. Normally I avoid these shows because of all the unhealthy emotions that come to the forefront when you put highly competitive youngsters together in a house while they are fighting for the prize. They play games, they form alliances, they plot to eliminate others – in general, it brings out everything negative in them. And in some shows there is a free exchange of obscenities and insults, no holds barred.
In this case the title of the show was intriguing and hence I started watching it. What do they mean by the term ‘Perfect Bride’? Obviously nobody can be perfect under all circumstances nor for everyone in the world?

The participants comprise of 5 bachelors and their moms and 10 girls. They are to spend a few weeks together in different wings of the same house - girls and moms together and boys together, separated by low gates and balconies. The mummies are to allocate tasks and observe the girls in action while they perform housekeeping tasks and cooking. There is hardly any free interaction between the young men and women – as it is mostly under the observant eyes of the others in the group. Only winners in tasks are allowed to spend an hour of private time with a partner of their choice.

Now comes the fun part:
What kind of tasks are set for men? They have to run through slush , climb ladders, change punctured tyres and drive the car back within the shortest possible time.
Tasks for girls? Arrange a party for the boys including decoration, planning menu, cooking and cleaning.
How original is that!!
And no penalties for the boy who came last but the girl who was poor in her task had to clean the toilet – wah!!

At the end of the week, one perfectly sweet girl was voted out because one whimsical mom thought she was not suitable for her precious son. Good for her I say, to get out of this madness soon enough. I loved what that spunky girl said before leaving: "May be my perfect man is waiting for me out there and I am getting late for him!!" HUGS girl, way to go!


The format of the show is too imperfect to be able to succeed in finding anyone perfect. As one smart and articulate participant aptly said ‘perfect bride is not just about cooking’. Another beautiful girl said how her confidence was being shattered every minute she was in that house. I perfectly understand. I think some of the girls might be scarred for life after this and some of them may never want to marry!!

In any case looking at the quality of the boys and the attitude of their moms ( one mom was rejecting a girl because she was dark!!!) I think the ‘perfect’ bride they are searching for is one dumb, fair, good-looking, saas-serving bahu. Mommyjis, have you tried the matrimonial ads? You have a better chance there.

Well, what else was I expecting from a channel that thrives on the “K” serials?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

she, VS he

This is something which I harvested from the web.

(A) How to Keep a Woman Happy"*
It's not at all difficult !

All you have to do is to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. Be honest
47. Be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. Never to forget: birthdays anniversaries arrangements she makes

(B) HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY....!!! :

1. Leave him in peace
2. Feed him well.
3. Let him have the remote control.

...... are you seriously looking for more??

This is a fun post. Women: Do take it sportingly and Men: Laugh away!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

still it teases me

Sometimes, it seems that all your astuteness is dead.
Mostly, it happens when you feel that nothing is working for you.
No no, neither I’m talking about love, nor frustration.
Even in general, when things stops working for you, you feel very disappointing.
Ah, it’s not strange, and probably it happens with every one.
Though Being a programmer, many times I feel similar situations. Sometimes, a very tiny mistake in my whole long code stucks like a huge hitch. I am sure
all the programmers will agree here, but what I am going to talk is not programming actually.


It was 13th October, and I was all set to give my exam of algorithm. Since our exams helds online, one needs to verify a link from his e-mail ID which was
been provided earlier while filling the form.
According to rules, one need to verify the link in 10 minutes of given time to appear in exam.


I was all set. When time triggered, the first step I had
to do was to open my e-mail account. Since I’ve verified my gmail account with them, I open
www.gmail.com
in my brouzer. Entered my username and password, and pressed sign in button.
Oh, oh, oh, it prompted “user name and password doesn’t match”
I was stunned. “doesn’t match?”
I’ve typed again, but result was same.
I was hundred percent sure that I haven’t forgot my password. Then?
“Is there any bloody problem with gmail’s server? But it might have produced any error message in case of any problem in database miss integrity.”
Ah, the 10 minutes limitation was plummeting every sec, and my heart was sincking at the same time.
“what the hack is this?”
Now, I got frustrated after typing again again and again.
It was only 1 minute left, and I was sure that thanks to my horrific luck, I’ll miss the chance of giving the exam.
This was an exam for which I’ve studied overnights, I left movies for several days, I circumvented the hangouts with friends, in short I’ve prepared so much,
so I was absolute ready and excited for the exam in a sense.
Never the less, now 10/ 15 seconds gone more, and it was 45 seconds remaining to verify the link.
Suddenly, a divine voice spoke to me.
“have you checked the caps lock?”
Hmm, I said it was divine voice, and you might have understood the problem ttoo.
Yes the caps lock was on, and I was typing the user name and password in big letters every time. I quickly fixed the problem, entered the username and password,
opened the mail, clicked link, and finally, at least I got the question paper for me.
The paper I found very easy, and I remember I’ve secured 94 percent marks in that exam. Though I was happy with the performance in exam, but this prior
incidence was agonizing me so much.
“man, as you are feeling proud after getting 94 percent marks in exam, but are you capable enough?”
“where was your whole brain while entering the username and password?”
“even you didn’t get meanwhile that caps on may be a reason?”
There were lots of questions which were teasing me, and I didn’t even had a single answer.
Even those questions embarrasses me until now, but it taught me a very important lesson, that
One should never complicate simple problems in life, they may certainly ruin the task.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

a vertual meeting come true

And so it happened. Without too much planning. Without going to and fro. One ping, followed by one suggestion on place and time. And lo behold, we met.

Who you may ask – a cute girl I’ve got via social networking medium,
Samaira.

it was a week day, so I’ve rushed straight from college.
And was there dot on time, only to see the Red Cedia parked already.
I obviously had no issues in spotting her in the crowded coffee shop. We hugged as if we were some long lost friends catching up over cup of coffee. And
conversation just flew. Not even for a second there was an uncomfortable silence. Not even for a second were we stuck on what to say next. Least to say,
it was delightful. The first peek at the watch shocked me no end. 2 hours had gone by and we hadn’t realized.


I say. And what a meeting it was. Yea, a sweet nice girl who had a golden smile on her face, beautifully dressed up in pink color, long curve hairs,
She was exactly same as I found her over chats,
After meeting her yesterday, I am still wondering why it took so long. I should have met her ages back.
And what’s quirky, is that she too thinks the same.

Though, there are a lot of friends I do talk over phone, but
This was the first time I had met someone from the world of social networking.
In fact, I had wrong notions about people found on mediums like these, but believe me, there are genuine humans as well.
I know this may be an exception as well, but let me tell, that even though my notion has changed a bit, yet it has not transformed completely.
So, I’ll still take hard care that meeting people should always be pleasant like this.
Whatever, for now I am happy, as I’ve got the bond of friendship with samaira stronger, and also, because we’ve goofed up so nicely.
She has promised me to introduce her boyfriend with me next time, so I’m seriously waiting for that.
What do you think about virtual meetings by the way?
Drop in your comments please.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

fixing back, slowly, slowly

Life means missing the expected , facing unexpected .
Being forgotten for all right one does,
being remembered for all wrong one commits .
A lot goes unquestioned,a lot more unanswered.

Well, i bet, life is not as easy as it sounds.
In fact, not in any case, not that I’m finding it hard, but ok, I confess today, these days the life seems a bit difficult.
I mean, at least complicated then previous days.
So, why is it?
Well how would I know, in fact I could have fixed the matters if I really knew.
Good news is, that perhaps the things are fixing back. Yes there’s a perhaps still, and that’s what the more important part, full of probabilities.
Not trying to hum like a philosopher in any case, but you tell me, isn’t it mysterious?
Ok, I hope, that I will understand a bit of extra things soon, by the way, I’ve already learnt a lot from the past incidence. (oh, they are so recent, and that’s why throbbing).
So all that I can say at this junction, is an old song sung by well known bollywood singer kishor kumar,
“zindagi ka safar hai ye kaisa safar, koi samjha nahin, koi jana nahi.”
--What a journey is life, nobody could know, nobody understood.

It tells all that I wanted to convey.
well leaving for now,
where?
you know my schedule is too hectic, , right?

Take care anyways.

Back, but Forlorn

am back. I know i have been going off and on and for a looooooooong period was in hibernation!

Well hope i am back for good.

Things have been pretty much hectic and yes interesting.

Life sometimes teaches us lessons the hard way. I have also learnt it the same way. Hard from within or outside doesn't matter. All what matters is whether
i got it right! Yes indeed i have.

Many a time i have sat down rewinding my memories and looking at my past and learning all what i did and what I had experienced. It has been a journey quiet,
interesting, tiring, cruel, boring, happy, sweet, irritating and yet lovely life!

If I start writing down my thoughts would really be a great tide today and hence I stop right here. .... Looking for reasons ... looking for my smile ,
sometimes i dig deep down my thoughts and feel the pain. A pain which i detest yet love for it just reminds me of those days and moments of reality . Prayers
help ... so that is the way .. writing works .. so here i am !:)

My thoughts and vibes will move with time but can never leave my heart and would remain within only to pop with time .. well how else will I then find time
to pen ?

:d

Hmm so sorry for my prattles …. It just goes on … will catch ya soon

Hope all are doing fine at your end ..

Take care!